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Bristol Palin 4 months pregnant with Trig, late 2007

Bristol Palin 4 months pregnant with Trig, late 2007

So now the McCain campaign “suddenly” reports that Bristol Palin is several months pregnant and will marry the father. This is obviously a cheap way to detract attention from the extensive evidence showing that Bristol Palin is in fact the mother of Trig Palin. (See my other post)  The fact that McCain ignored this rumor, and has not vehemently denied it (which would be the logical response), is further evidence that it is likely true!

Three theories on this announcement:

1. Bristol Palin is “pregnant” but will magically have a “miscarriage” right after the elections. (Or perhaps even right before, so we can all feel sorry for her!) Realizing her mother’s obvious mistake, Bristol will be smart enough to wear a fake belly a la Bree (Desperate Housewives).

2. Bristol Palin and family will adopt another child, cover up the paperwork (as they did with Trig’s birth, of whom there is no record at the hospital !!), and pass it off as her own.

3. Bristol Palin is a teen slut who got herself knocked up again, because her parents are against birth control, right after her previous pregnancy. If Britney can do it, Bristol can do it, right? The baby will be born a month or so “late” (but in reality will be delivered early by C-Section) to make the dates work.

Did anybody need more proof that the Republican abstinence and no birth control policy is a complete failure with teen girls? Even our “future VP”‘s daughter couldn’t keep her hoohah shut.

Oh, and if you think the VP doesn’t matter that much, let’s remember that the average life expectancy for American males is around 73. That means, purely from a statistical point of view, that John McCain is more likely to die than not during his time as president. Good luck with your new moose munching, beauty-pageant-runner-up President who can’t even raise a decent, morally upright child.

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